Finding a Joyful Heart ♥

Working with trauma impacts each of us in ways that we often do not expect and sometimes do not recognize.  The terms burn out, compassion fatigue, and vicarious, or secondary, trauma, while often used interchangeably, are actually very different responses to work-related stress.

Burn out is a term that describes the emotional exhaustion one can feel over time related to work or other stressors. Often people fee a loss of ideals or a reduced sense of personal accomplishment.  This can result in a reduced sense of commitment.

If you are burned out, you might start to lose a sense of enjoyment for your work.   Your work performance or productively may decrease.  You might start to become more cynical or negative about work and experience more anger, frustration, and feelings of depression.  When people are burned out, they may withdraw from social situations and experience health problems.  This doesn’t happen overnight – it is a cumulative process.

Compassion fatigue has similar characteristics to burn out, but is a maladaptive response to stress for those in the caring professions.  People can have feelings of isolation, lack of empathy and other thoughts or behaviors that reduce enjoyment and productivity.  Someone with compassion fatigue may receive unusual amounts of complaints from others and may do a lot of external blaming, voicing excessive complaints about administrative functions, for example.  People experiencing this may use substances to mask feelings, engage in compulsive behaviors and have difficulty concentrating.  They may be mentally and physically tired and develop chronic ailments such as gastrointestinal problems and recurrent colds.  Often, those with compassion fatigue are in denial about its impact and do not practice sufficient self care.

While compassion fatigue is found in people working in the helping professions, vicarious, or secondary trauma, is found among those who work in the trauma field.  This includes emergency room staff, law enforcement, those involved in disaster response, EMTs, and people working with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. 

The impact of secondary trauma resembles PTSD. Individuals may have intrusive thoughts, be hyper vigilant, have problems with concentration, and experience changes in their core belief systems.  People may find change difficult, as it is important for there to be a sense of routine.  They may experience fear for personal safety or for the safety of those they care about.  It can impact many aspects of their life, including maintaining close relationships. All of the symptoms of burn out and compassion fatigue may be present, and can be much more severe.

All of these conditions are the result of chronic stress.  Our bodies respond to short-term stress in a manner designed to protect us, pumping chemicals into our body, increasing our blood pressure, and shifting our focus to a state of hyper-vigilance. That is why our ancestors avoided being eaten by lions and tigers and bears (oh my!).  The problem is that, when stress becomes chronic, our bodies don’t know how to regulate those responses and become over-taxed.  Chronic stress can have significant physiological and emotional ramifications.

Unfortunately, many of the people who work in Children’s Advocacy Centers are not told, when they begin this work, of the impact repeated exposure to trauma could have on their lives.  As a result, some, when faced with the symptoms of secondary trauma, may question their commitment, their abilities, and their level of compassion, not understanding that what is happening to them is a normal response to chronic stress and witnessing the impact of trauma.  In addition, the ways people sometimes choose to treat these symptoms, through isolation, compulsive behaviors such as substance abuse, gambling, and overeating, or risk taking behaviors, may actually make things worse.

The stress in our jobs is not going to go away, but our response to it can change. As professionals in this field, it is important to recognize the impact of our work on our lives and incorporate tools to build resilience.

In looking at research into the traits of resilient people, five things come up repeatedly: forgiveness, gratitude, spirituality, authenticity, and the ability to embrace imperfection.

Forgiveness is not about letting people off the hook, but taking the hook, the thing that continues to cause you pain, out of you.  Being able to forgive allows you to move on without the emotional baggage and anger of the experience coming with you.  We are witness to a lot of wrongs committed against vulnerable people and against the people trying to help them, and that can result in an underlying sense of sadness, anger and outrage.  It is okay to feel sadness, anger, or a sense of outrage, but imagine that you are carrying a bag with you and every instance of injustice goes into that bag.  Soon, you will be overcome by the weight of it.  You have to be able to feel those emotions, release them, and move on.  This can be very difficult and takes practice and commitment. People still need to be held accountable for their actions, but you do not have to carry your anger or resentment about their actions with you.

Researchers have found that people who make a daily practice of gratitude experience much more satisfaction in their lives.  One of the symptoms of secondary trauma is a sense of loss.  Taking time each day to reflect on those things for which you are grateful can restore some sense of abundance in your life. These don’t have to be big things – just those little moments of grace when someone lets you into traffic or a co-worker finishes their part of a project on time so you don’t have to feel rushed.  People who practice this find that there is much in their lives to be grateful for, and it helps them cope better when faced with stress.

Spirituality is important because one of the symptoms of secondary trauma is a loss of meaning.  Spirituality does not necessarily mean participating in a formal religious tradition, but it is about finding a sense of something larger than yourself that is positive and nurturing.  For some people, that is found in nature, volunteering, or some creative process that feeds your soul.  After all, if you are going to give your heart and soul to your work, it is important that they are well fed.

Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality,
spirit, or character, despite other pressures.  Find people who accept and celebrate you as you are and cherish them.  Too often, we feel a pressure to be someone we are not.  Spend time to get centered and make a friend with the person you truly are.  This is one place where the practices of forgiveness and gratitude can be particularly powerful.

Embrace imperfection.  Brené Brown, a researcher who spent 10 years studying shame and resiliency, points out that striving for perfection is a way of avoiding feelings. Dr. Brown also found that people who experience what she calls wholehearted living, believe they are worthy of having a life that is abundant and rich in meaning and experience.

It is hard to feel worthy when we are trying to be perfect.  Nobody is perfect and no amount of effort will get you there.  Our imperfections are what make us interesting people.  And, as Stephen Levine says, when you step into life you go two feet, when you fall on your face, you go six.

The trick to incorporating one or all five of these practices into your life involves just that, practice.  It is a matter of establishing a discipline that allows you to find the time in your already busy life to incorporate a few changes that can make a big difference in your ability to be present and happy with the work that you do – and to be of the most help to the children and families you serve.  One small step is to write down three things you are grateful for today, and go on from there, adding a little more of these practices as you find time. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect. As we begin the New Year, resolve to incorporate one of more of these practices into your life and create the resiliency that will lead you to a joyful heart.